Big step??

You bet!

I recently began looking into something I have considered for most of my life.....adoption. My family did some fostering when I was a child, and my mom was fostered. I have always believed that if I wasn't married by the time I was 35 I would look into adoption. I am now 37, and the thought has come much more frequently.

I broached the subject with my folks and they freaked. They are concerned about my health, and knowing what I looked like when I first became ill I understand their concerns. But I have fantastic parents, and I truly believe that it would be a shame not to use some of those wonderful parenting skills that created the people my brothers and I are today to help some kids who haven't gotten what they deserve so far in life.

Am I wrong?

I am doing my research - I am looking into schools, activities, before and after school care, etc. I plan to be careful and allow only a small, young sibling group (the ones most hard to place as many only want one child) whose needs are in line with what I can offer. My health is stable, and as I don't plan to reduce prednisone so sharply in the future, I can be assured of no other relapses. My job is stable and is (fortunately) limited to 40 hours outside of the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I have a loving and supportive family that I KNOW will provide additional love and support to any kids I bring to the family....

So am I nuts?

I would LOVE to be active with a couple of kids.....have family dinners, do homework together, watch them in their activities. It would be hard. Particularly when you consider the baggage all of these kids come with. However, with careful partnership with a social worker I hope to have a placement in which my skills and life experience would be helpful and that their issues would not be ones overwhelming for a single mother. Knowing my tumultuous teens I have no doubt kds can be emotionally exhausting, but I am counting on my family for emotional support and my parents for the tips and guidance that will help keep things level.

For years, work was my outlet in life. As so many have presaged, I had to learn the hard way. Work will NOT give you back in the end. It is not designed to be the center of your life. I love my career and plan to stay with for as long as I am able (65, here I come!) but I no longer wish it to be my center. I have no desire to 'get out' and date....I have no desire to meet people for dinner and drinks or attend a party. I want to have an active home life. I want to build a relationship that will last into my senior years. I want to watch kids grow, develop and prosper.

Is that weird?